To you I’d rather be a passing thought
Than pass you in the hall with my eyes low
In hopes of missing your careless hello
In hopes of keeping my heart beating slow.
To you I’d rather be someone you miss
Than someone who’s standing right beside you
Not quite far enough from your eye’s kiss
Not very far from another you’ve kissed.
To you I’d rather be close only in
The memories you keep hidden within.
I am tortured by our proximity
Because you want nothing to do with me.
Closeness I will passionately evade
For it was passionate closeness that made
You loathe your friend who always carried you
Made you seek another body to prove
What I supplied, could be supplied to you
By someone who could actually handle
The truth that you granting love doesn’t
Grant the joy of being loved by you.
Yeah, I guess everything is cool.
If I could choose, I’m not quite sure whether
I’d ask for your body or just our voices together
I wouldn’t deny my lips your sweet treasure
But the sound of your laugh in my ears might
be better I miss my friend who always had something to say
I miss the times we’d spend the whole day
I know we’re close, and it’s getting late
And maybe it’s good that I’m feeling this way
I’ll be able to handle life when we leave,
Because without you I guess I’ve learned to breathe
I wish I could say the latter was really true
I wish I could say I don’t ache for you
But I’m here, again, putting it out there
Praying that this might make you care
Because it wasn’t enough for me to lay my shit bare
I guess it wasn’t enough for me to rip out my hair
I punched my pride in its nose and kicked my sore heart
We stopped talking and I just wanted to start
But my courage was short and it wasn’t enough
All you could muster was, “You miss me? Tough.”
And yeah I miss you much, you’re standing right there I miss you so much, you don’t seem to care
Let me drive you home, let me stop and stare
I’ll say just one time, act like I don’t care
I miss you so much, I miss your brown hair I miss you so much, you don’t seem to care
Put my shit on the line, it’s all out there
You put up walls to hide behind, I’m scared
To miss you so much, you don’t even care
Miss you so much, wanna kiss you so much
Hate you so much, but you don’t give a fuck
What did I do, do I not have your trust?
What can I do to make you give a fuck?
I’m slipping away and you won’t even look
I could fill pages, I could write a whole book
And yes I miss you like that
But if you give me one thing
It’s your friendship I want back.